26 July 2008
Just been informed that a close friend died suddenly. We were friends for a long time. We were colleagues working together at the airport. We were in the same team.
Friendship lasted even after we left our airport job and doing our own stuff. Even though each of us carried on with our own journey in life, we still kept in touch - even though sometimes it could be a few months or longer that we do not see each other.
His death came as a shock becos he wasn't ill or anything like that where you could at least be mentally be prepared for the worst.
I know that in Buddhism, death is part of the cycle of life and death. Death is a release from this life of suffering. Death should be taken 'as it is' - neither happy or sad.
But I'm a sentient being. I'm still not enlightened. I'm still affected. It is easy to say but not easy to do.
27 July'08
This morning while waking up, I was thinking if it was just a bad dream. Part of me is still in denial, that he will call me and go "Hello Mrs. Leong" in his cheeky tone. But alas...........
Went to his funeral and cremation. Seeing him lying there in the coffin - it seemed so surreal.
31 July 2008
Attended his Memorial service at The Buddhist Library.
I'm beginning to come to term that he is really gone. A part of me felt a little angry - questions of why he have to go so suddenly especially since he had just come back from his Buddhist pilgrimage, why did he have to go since he's a good person - I wanted to ask the monk that but then I guess I know deep down that it was his time. Comforting to know also that he had enjoyed his pilgrimage which aptly was his last journey in this life.
For me, even though I've been reading about Buddhism - with his death, I've realised that I'm still very attached to "attachment". Guess I've got a long way to 'enlightenment'.
Good-bye Ronald from all your friends in this life-time, I'm sure we will meet again in the next life.........
(Died : 25 Jul'08 / Cremation : 27 Jul'08 / Sea-Burial : 28 Jul'08 / Memorial : 31 Jul'08)
"Death is not the end and each birth too is not the beginning of a life.
In fact, death is the beginning of life and conversely birth is the ending of life.
It is just one part of a whole process, a whole cyclic process of birth, death, rebirth and dying again"
- passages from a Buddhist perspective -
Sorry to hear about your friend's departure. I felt sad when i read this entry. I had 2 instances where people whom I know passed away and it just jerk me up to realise that life is indeed very fragile. My senior died when she was only 21 due to asthmatic attack and I just had a game with her a few mths back; the other was my sec school teacher who died of cancer. Thou I'm not as close to them but I could feel the loss somehow...my senior's death in fact sort of woke me up from my suicidal thought as that time I was in a state of depression. I believe we're here for a reason/purpose & I guess your friend has served his.
ReplyDeleteRegarding the passage, could you explain what it means by 'birth is the end of life'? I understand the 1st part but can't seem to get the meaning of the second portion.
Tks for your consolation. It hit me 'hard' than I thought it would be.
ReplyDelete'birth is the ending of life' - when you are born, you are already on your way to death. When we are born, everybody celebrates life and enjoy, when in reality, we are passing time till death comes - so we must be prepared for 'death' when it comes - nothing morbid, it's a natural progression of life.
I guess especially so when it's someone you know well...I used to even think of trying not to be too close/ attached to anyone so that I won't feel too sad when the person dies. But that would mean more regrets as I didn't cherish the moments with that person during his/her lifetime.
ReplyDeleteThks for d explanation :) indeed,we r all on our way to death...