To 'Fight' or Not

(1) At the Mister Maker play corner, he had a girl who shouted at him. Another girl also snatched the toy car from him.

(2) At the toy store at Ngee Ann, two older boys who're brothers kept pushing his train away from the tracks so that they will have the whole train set to themselves.

For the above incidents, I did not immediately go to 'rescue' Eugene. I wanted to see how he will react.

For (1), when the girl shouted at him, he was stunned.
And when a girl snatched the toy car from him, Eugene ran to me to complain and I told him to take it back.

Eugene tried to take it back but the girl was older and stronger than he was.

I told him to tell the girl that she must share, which Eugene did, but obviously it fell on deaf ears.

I didn't want to create a fuss as we were leaving already.


For (2)at the toy store in Ngee Ann, two boys kept pushing Eugene's train off the track as they wanted to whole track to themselves, Eugene told the boys that they must share and to be gentle. This caught the eye of the two boys' father who disciplined his kids there and then.

As a parent, as with all parents, I try to instill and teach my kid to have good values and principles. And for his age at this moment - be nice to others, tell the truth, share, must address your elders etc.

Of cos, he has his moment when he's a little devil like being defiant but generally he's a good kid.

So when I see him being bullied, what am I to do? Do I tell him to fight back or to be nice about it? If I tell him to fight back, it will contradict what I had taught him. If I tell him, never mind, he will be stepped upon.

I've been trying to find a 'solution' and at the moment, this is the best I can think of.

I will tell him : talk to the other party nicely, if the other party still persist in being nasty, then he can retaliate.

Of cos, I want my child to be a good kid but I want him to learn defensive skills too. If the other party is going to hurt him or being obviously nasty, I don't see why he has to stand there and turn the other cheek.

I am not going to always be there for him and I'll rather he be street-smart than book-smart. It's a jungle out there, not everybody's gonna play nice and I want him to be able to defend himself if the need arise.


I'm a 'late mother' and I guess maybe, I worry that I'll not be around for him when he is going through adulthood phase.

Am I teaching him the wrong thing? I don't know. I'll act accordingly to each situation that might arise.

Maybe I'm thinking too much? I guess as a parent, you will worry for your kid the rest of your life.